Tuesday, January 11, 2005

The Rapture Done Come! Woo-Hoo!

I hear tell God done called the army of his faithful servants home!

OVIEDO, Fla. - A Presbyterian minister collapsed and died in mid-sentence of a sermon after saying "And when I go to heaven ...," his colleague said Monday.

The Rev. Jack Arnold, 69, was nearing the end of his sermon Sunday at Covenant Presbyterian Church in this Orlando suburb when he grabbed the podium before falling to the floor, said the Rev. Michael S. Beates, associate pastor at Covenant Presbyterian.

Before collapsing, Arnold quoted the 18th century Bible scholar, John Wesley, who said, "Until my work on this earth is done, I am immortal. But when my work for Christ is done ... I go to be with Jesus," Beates said in a telephone interview.

It seems the Big Guy, troubled by all the hypocrisy committed in his name by his alleged followers, decided to call home all those who had faithfully served him and advanced his kingdom on earth.

An Army of One, indeed.
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